Narcissism & Relationships | Making Good Choices
Now in 2018, despite that fact in some places, the term “narcissist” is still being used freely, most of the world has realized its actual meaning. Narcissism isn’t just a selfish and self-centered trait in a person. In reality, Narcissism Personality Disorder is a very real and often times a toxic psychological illness.
Have you recently been diagnosed with Narcissism Personality Disorder? Have you recently through self-observation and reflection started to see your behavior towards others and it’s emotionally draining effect? Do you wish to be better? If yes then you must be feeling intense emotions right now, equipped with panicked and anxious feelings, anger, frustration, guilt, remorse as well as helplessness. Worry not, its time to make good choices today and lead a better life with these simple steps!
Narcissist men when it comes to relationships are not the best of the partners. Each narcissist has their own relationship patterns and all of these patterns are emotionally draining as well as toxic for the romantic partner. A narcissist is a person who has a boosted sense of self; they perceive themselves as superior, better and important as opposed to everyone else. Due to this, in the broader effect, they even construct their relationships solely on their terms and only opt for conditional love.
The key factor narcissist men in relationship lack is empathy for their partners and others. Empathy is basically the ability of a human to understand the feelings and situation of another, and its essential when it comes to a healthy life. In life, we meet all kinds of people who do things which we fail to understand at first. However, with empathy, we understand their situations, realize the levels we would have crossed if we were in the same situation and then proceed to treat the person accordingly. The ability to empathize with another human is one of the most magical and unique abilities gifted to mankind.
Removal Of Empathy
As said above, Empathy is essential for a healthy and peaceful life. So what happens if we remove the ability. Well, it would lead to a sort of a person like a narcissist. Obviously, narcissists are more complex than just people low on the ability to empathize. However, here is what low levels of empathy leads to:
The person only manages to see themselves, their situation, their reasons for action, their needs and nothing else. Since they can’t empathize, they do not realize that other people have needs too; other people require love, appreciation, praise and free action as well. Their perception grows limited, and thus, here is how you make good life choices and increase your empathy with these simple steps!
Step One: Practice Consideration In Conversation
Conversation and communication is a key factor to any healthy relationship. Here are some points you should take care of when communicating:
- Realize that the conversation is two-way. Narcissistic men in relationships tend to only talk about themselves while the other person listens. Realize that in order for a good relationship, you must let the conversation flow both ways.
- Do not interrupt someone else’s speech! This is another good choice to make in life. Try to think of how would it feel if someone else interrupted you. If it feels bad, then don’t do it.
- Use the interactant’s first name more. This creates a deeper personal connection with the person which leads to a better communication and ultimate relationship.
- Listen to understand rather than just to respond! Meaningful conversations are felt rather just portrayed.
- Respect the person’s personal space. Do not intervene or try to be nosy about something that another person does not wish to tell you right away.
- Do not commit to plans you already know you won’t be turning up to. Respect a promise and it’s worth. Your promises will loose it’s meaning and worth which will result in crippling relationships.
- Talks as much as you listen. Make a thumb rule to only talk as much as you have listened.
Step Two: Practice Being Mindful
Being mindful basically refers to thinking before performing an action or speaking. As mentioned several times before, narcissist men in relationship are known to be increasingly inconsiderate and lacking empathy. Making a good choice relies on education, contemplation and finally application. Here you have been educated on what narcissistic men lack in and should improve on, analyse through these steps it’s application.
Before speaking or performing an action, ask yourself these three questions:
- Is the action going to be beneficial for me and harmful for the other?
- Am I taking away someone’s basic human right through this action?
- Would I appreciate the action if I were on the receiving end of it?
Especially through the answer of the last question, you’ll know if you should perform the activity or not. Moreover, this step will bring a noticeable increase in your levels of consideration and empathy when it comes to others. Making good choices is about realizing what you lack in and then actively trying to be better.
Step Three: Practice Sublimation For Narcissism
Sublimation is satisfying an impulse with a substitute object in a socially acceptable manner. Come to terms with your diagnoses, realize that you are a narcissist and thus you will have a related personality and thought processes. Despite the fact that you will actively try to not be a narcissist, your needs will want to come out. Here, display and portray your thoughts how they are through art; try journaling and venting it out, try making paintings, etc.
Step Four: Therapy
Making good choices in life means to realize what is best for us in the long run. Realize when you need serious help, when all the self methods are failing to deliver a wanted outcome. Consider going to a psychologist who will view your case objectively and with a professional eye. These professionals are trained to help you through this in the most efficient manner possible. Consider therapy and practice self-forgiveness. Therapy can go a long way!