Despite the fact that we use the term “feeling” and “emotion” in the same context in our daily lives, schools, jobs, etc, there is a great difference between the two. On more than many occasions, we believe both the terms possess the same definition. Let’s take a look at the definitions provided for both individually:
“A strong feeling, deriving from one’s circumstances, mood or relationship with others.”
“An emotional state or reaction.”
Since Google’s definitions have failed us by using one term for the other’s meaning, let’s put our Sherlock hats on, research deep into the world of the Internet, and find what Psychology has to say about the difference between Emotions and Feelings:
Emotions are programmed into our genes. Their general purpose is to produce a specific response to a stimulus, i.e. they are a response to the outside world. These complex responses that are recognized by each and every person. The responses are raw in nature, i.e. everyone can relate, understand and feel them. Emotions are immediate and facilitate to survival; they are also intense but temporary.
Feelings play out in our brains. They are a response to the emotions, i.e. first comes the raw, pure emotion, then after processing comes the feelings. These responses to emotions are not recognized by each and every person. They are unique to each individual, i.e. personal experiences shape feelings for a particular circumstance, person or place. Feelings take time to be formed for the first time. Unlike emotions, feelings are not as strong but they are quite long lasting.
Anger is an Emotion, Bitterness and hate is a Feeling; Joy is an Emotion, Happiness is a Feeling; Fear is an Emotion, Worry is a Feeling; Attraction is an Emotion, Love is a Feeling.
Remember how we highlighted that emotions are strong but temporary and vice versa for Feelings? Well, today we are going to discuss the seemingly simple but very important topic: Is it Love or is it just an Attraction?
Dating and relationships are a very important part of life. Has it ever happened to you that you thought you really loved a person, everything about them, and then spring ended and you realized that oh, you don’t feel the same for the person any more. A very interesting part about love is that it builds over time – yes, love at fist sight doesn’t exist; sorry to rain down on the fantasy. Love builds with time and takes double of it to let go. Since its so deep rooted and real, it’s impossible to just wake up one day and suddenly not be in love with a person anymore.
Still confused on how to detect if you’re in love or just merely attracted to a person? Here is your very own guide:
Physical Appearance Is Your Primary Focus
Attraction is a result of liking just the surface. When you are just attracted to a person, you only care for their physical appearance; what they look like, their hair, their sense of style, etc. An extremely easy way to know if you’re just attracted to a person is to process your thoughts, feelings and emotions when they are looking their least presentable self. If you notice an absence in your feelings of “love”, equipped with a sort of cringe-iness, then know that its just mere attraction you have for them.
When in love, we learn to love each and every part of our significant others. We are there for all their ups and downs and our love only grows after seeing them at their least presentable selves as it serves to remind us that we and them are our messy human selves at the end of the day.
You Miss Them Only When You’re Alone Or Lonely
You don’t tend to notice their absence or even miss them when you’re busy having fun. The whole day can pass without them crossing your mind once, but once you’re alone, bored and lonely, they suddenly become the focus of your thoughts.
This is an alarming sign that it’s strictly attraction, i.e. you don’t care about their existence unless and until you’re bored, alone or lonely.
You Can Sense A Lack Of Emotional Connection
In truth, emotional connection is far more essential than any other sort to sustain a healthy and loving relationship. It runs far deeper than physical intimacy, physical attraction, etc. This emotional connection ensure a good time even when the both of you are just chilling around, doing absolutely nothing.
If you notice an absence of an emotional connection then know that what you feel for that person is only an emotion and not a feeling, that it is only an attraction and not love.
Putting Yourself First
When we truly and hopelessly are in love with a person, we keep them before ourselves. Their needs, their wants, their wishes, their desires and happiness becomes our main focus. If there is an extra slice of pizza left then we think about giving it to them first.
Love is complicated business, it makes you selfless and empathetic. When you love someone, you are ready to compromise and sacrifice your own happiness just to see theirs. Here you only give with no conditions attached. However, if you find yourself thinking about yourself above the person, then its only attraction.
You Can’t See A Future Together
This sign is by far the most detailed, complex yet accurate in nature. Sometimes, we find ourselves behaving totally in the opposite way than the previous points; we put the other person first, we enjoy any and every moment with them, we are thinking about them all day long and really like every part of them, yet still, its not love. So how to detect? Think and analyse. Think and analyse deeply if you can truly see a future with this person; a small place to live, a pet, your own family with this person, etc. If you cannot see a future, then its only attraction.