Have you recently been diagnosed with Narcissism Personality Disorder, have you really just have started to see yourself? If yes, then you may be feeling intense and at points, aggressive emotions due to the discovery, and thus, today we have bought to you some simple steps which will help you develop a better and healthier life and relations with others, or in order words: tips that will help you to stop being a narcissist.
Narcissism Personality Disorder is described as a mental illness where the individual has a boosted sense of self; the individuals build their own high horse and perceive themselves to be superior than everyone else. Their most common traits include lack of empathy, manipulative, not respecting other’s personal boundaries, etc. All this knowledge of course leads you to feel anger and a sense of sadness and overwhelming emotions. However, remember the first rule to change: Awareness. Without awareness a change cannot take place.
Take the example of a school project: We like our work until we are aware that something can be improved or changed. Without this awareness, no change would have been made by you on the project. Thus, try to be thankful of your recent awareness and consider it as a great opportunity.
How To Stop Being A Narcissist Starting Today!
Step One: Practice Consideration In Conversation
A highly prominent trait of a narcissist if their lack of empathy or consideration in other people’s causes. This leads to the surrounding loved ones feeling emotionally drained. The first step to overcoming narcissism is to trying to be more considerate when it comes to our conversation with others. Here are come basic points you should try to achieve:
- Realize that conversation is a two way process. A person speaks and the other listens, then the other speaks and the first person listens. It is not a process where just one speaks and the other only listens. Make a simple thumb rule: After speaking a few lines on a topic, I will stop to listen to what the other person has to say.
- Try not to interrupt another person’s speech. Practice this point while also simultaneously develop your feelings of empathy. Whenever you wish to say something while another is already speaking, try to imagine yourself in their position and think if you would like another cutting off your speech.
- Use more of the other person’s first name (in cases of informal conversation). This develops a deeper sense of personal and emotional contact and brings forward a warm vibe during the conversation.
- Try to listen to understand rather than just listening to respond. Try to develop a bit of interest in what the other person has to say. Meaningful conversations are felt.
- Respect personal space. Take your recent discovery of being a Narcissist for example: you wouldn’t wish to tell to it every person walking right away. The same way, many people have reasons and stories which they do not wish to open up about with everyone. If they look reluctant in discussing something then don’t press on. This comes off as threatening and rude. Try not to be intrusive and respect other’s personal boundaries.
- Don’t commit to plans that you already know you won’t go through with. Genuine reasons for the cancellation of a plan is okay, however, committing to plan you already know you won’t go though with should be avoided. Recognize and give value to your promises.
Step Two: Practice Being Mindful
Being Mindful basically means to think before performing an action or speaking. When it comes to narcissists, they are known to be inconsiderate of other people’s feelings. Another great way to stop being a narcissist is to pause, think and analyse and action before performing. Ask yourself these following questions:
- Is this action going to be only beneficial for me and not beneficial for others?
- Am I taking away someone’s right through this action?
- Would I appreciate this action if I were on the receiving end of this?
Especially, through the last question’s answer, you’ll know if you should perform the action or not. Keep the last question as your constant mantra when doing any task. Live by its answer. This will diminish your inconsideration and will improve your empathy for others.
Step Three: Channel Your Narcissistic Feelings Through Art
Remember, art is not supposed to be perfect. Art is supposed to be a language understood by all. You are a narcissist and of course you have feelings in accordance with it. Since now you are trying to stop being a narcissist, your feelings and need to always be at the center stage are sort of trapped inside. Channel these feelings into a healthy and unharmful way: make art, paint, draw, illustrate though comics or just simply splash colors on a canvas in accordance to your feelings.
Moreover, watch and try to understand the art of others. Movies and books are a great way to give a deeper understanding of the state of mind of other people, which will help you develop more empathy.
Step Four: Receive Help
Help is required by everyone. While narcissism cannot be “cured” it can be helped and toned down quite a lot. Try to receive therapy from a psychologist of recommendation. These psychologist, through years of studies and cases, are trained to make you feel better . You may feel like therapy is a waste of time, but gather patience and try to go through with it.
Step Five: Practice Self-Forgiveness
Through your diagnoses, its likely to feel remorse and guilt when you become aware of all the emotional strain which was caused by your actions to your loved ones. Remember that today is a new day and there have been no mistakes. Forgive yourself for your previous mistakes and through this awareness, try not to repeat them. Narcissism is a very real illness and a personality disorder. A narcissist has extreme needs and goes to extreme heights to satisfy them. Accept your illness, understand its reasons and forgive yourself.