Lets clear some things up first: Nobody gets into a relationship with an intent to break it off, Nobody wishes for a failed relationship and the heartbreak. If that’s the case, then why are the divorce rates rising along with frequent break ups? This article will highlight the most basic of the reasons.
If you ever had a break up with a person, then you would be familiar with the internal mental conflict with yourself in the days leading up to the actual break up. The conflict of if you should keep trying harder or just let it go. There are two phrases that we are very much familiar with but at the same time, they contradict each other. The phrases are: “If you want it, go get it” and “If it’s meant to be, it will be.”
During the days leading up to the final breakup, we are constantly torn between trying harder to design our own fate and then contemplating if we have done everything in our power. Amidst all this conflict, you might have even started to blame yourself for the failed relationship entirely. However, here are the most common reasons why relationships fail:
Reasons Why Your Relationship Failed
Lack Of Communication
We have seen in numerous movies how the whole climax is based entirely on misunderstandings due to the lack of communication. We sit behind our screens frustrated and yell at the characters to “JUST TALK, DUM-DUMS”, but sometimes refuse or forget to take our own advice.
Communication is one of the most essential part and requirement for a healthy relationships. Man is a social animal; we are given the ability to communicate and express our thoughts. It is found that more than half of the problems in relationships can be solved through communication. Communication allows a doubt or a misunderstanding to not spread and fester. Misunderstanding can turn into a type of toxicity which can very much destroy your relationship.
Lack Of Trust
Trust is one of the pillars of a successful relationship. Without trust, the relationship will remain vulnerable, weak and fragile. If there are trust issues present in a relationship, then there will be a noticeable absence of safety and security in the relationship.
Trust issues include jealousy, non-supportive of the other’s goals and ambitions, possessiveness, etc. Trust issues can be present and based on evidence like the partner having cheated before or constantly breaking promises, or even based on subjective view without any evidence like getting jealous when there was no reason to be. Trust issues in a relationship can lead to feelings of inferiority and constant arguments which can greatly start to feel like a constant burden, equipped with feeling mentally and emotionally tired and drained.
Lack of Excitement
Has it ever happened to you that around the “chasing period”, you could feel excitement, chemistry, mystery and just plain amazement? Versus when you both finally get together, the excitement just sort of starts to die down, leading to an unsatisfactory relationship? This issue is way common than you think due to the concept of effort. Before getting into a relation, during the chasing period, you put in effort; you go to the gym, are constantly up to date with yourself, take care of your personal hygiene, plan dates, dress up for your partner, etc, but after being in the relationship, most people just stop. They stop going to the gym, taking care of themselves, etc. This lack of effort leads to a boring and uneventful relationship which makes it quite unsatisfactory.
Effort And Time
As said above, effort does not cease its demand once the relationship is established. Moreover, a healthy and functioning relationship demands high effort. If any one of the two stop putting in effort and time into the relationship, then it becomes bland and unsatisfactory.
C O M P R O M I S E
This point cannot be stressed more. Like communication and trust, compromise is also another pillar which is essential for a healthy relationship. In a relationship, there exist two separate and unique individuals, equipped with a unique thought process and views on life. Its a given that at some point, both the parties might not agree with one another, and here is where Compromise should come strolling in. Take for example, your partner wishes to go to her friend’s party, which was made possible after months of planning, on the same day your family has a reunion party. Realize that she really wishes to attend this party and go to your family party without her. Relationships demand compromise every now and then.
Narcissism Or Other Mental Illnesses
Mental illnesses like Narcissism, make the person perceive themselves as superior and important as opposed to all others. They keep their needs, wishes, wants and desires above everyone else’s, even their own dating partners!
These types of relationships are emotionally draining and tiresome. They demand a sort of sacrifice that many can’t do without losing their minds. Mental illnesses are a real thing and can contribute towards the failing of a relationship. Seek help from a professional if that is the case.
Friends And Family
Most of our friends and family really do love us. They watch out for us, see to our needs, recognize the toxic people in our lives and advice us to part ways with them. However, sometimes, loved ones are the toxic in our relationship. Some family members or friends fail to realize what makes you happy and can provide fuel to the already budding fire in the form of an argument in your relationship. In South Asia, the interference and toxic advice of friends and family is one of the main reasons of a failed relationship.
Relationships can fail due to many, many reasons. Most of the times, there isn’t one concrete reason, but rather a cluster adding up over on another. Remember, each relationship is different and also remember, that a failed relationship is not to be blamed on just one person.